Aha. It hurts you know. Yeah. I know it is my fault. So I push it away and try to forget about it and try to make up for it. I’m just pretending that it doesn’t hurt. I ignore it to be more accurate because what else can I do? I always remind myself not to get angry and hurt cause it’s my fault. But it’s hard. Hahahaha I read this and find myself so disgusting. Sighh.aha. I’m sorry.